To Do List- Dylan's Hair Cut

Dear Roommate No. 1: 

I would like to acknowledge your concerns in regards to Dylan's hair cut issue so that you are aware that I am not completely disregarding your requests. 

Although I appreciate your concerns for my son's well-being and your efforts in housing us and keeping us safe, I would like to explain to you why I have not been able to get Dylan to the hair groomers:

Reason Not To Cut Dylan's Hair No. 1: I would love to drop Dylan off at his hair salon in the morning prior to leaving for work, however, this would cut into my daily sister time talk, which has been taking place for the last 26 years. 

I do not think it would be just if I deprive my sister of this important bonding time.

Reason Not To Cut Dylan's Hair No. 2: I understand your "easy fix" to the above is to wake up earlier, however, Dylan is not a morning dog and we have learned this based on the scar which is located on my upper right leg. 

Reason Not To Cut Dylan's Hair No. 3: Even though Dylan looks as though he is unhappy because he is unable to see further than 2 inches in front of him, he has always exhibited signs of enjoying a challenge. I feel the challenge to see is a good exercise for him.

Reason Not To Cut Dylan's Hair No. 4: Dylan has hinted to me that he has worked hard at growing out his locks of hair and to cut it would make him uncomfortable and insecure. 

Being a little dog, Dylan already struggles with "little dog syndrome". I feel it may be inappropriate to inhance his insecurities by taking away what makes him feel most attractive, his curly, white hair.  

Although all of the above reasons are valid and true, I must agree with you that Dylan does not look particularly happy when his hair is so long that he is unable to properly go to the restroom. 

However, despite his problems, Dylan has amazed me and has once again taught himself a new trick!

"Exhibit A"

For this... I apologize and Dylan shall get a hair cut first thing in the morning.