I'm Alive!

Dear My Loyal Blog Followers: 

Although I have not updated my wonderful blog for some time, I still very much appreciate the daily support that you have all given me.

Let me get straight to the point, I am alive, I am in the middle of studying for mid-terms and finals, I am sick and (at this exact moment) I am sitting in evidence, not paying attention, because I have nose drool running down my face. 

Here are some quick updates:

My little prince, Dylan, is alive, happy and fat from his Thanksgiving feasts. I am happy to report Mr. Dylan only attacked three (3) Thanksgiving guests during the holidays and only had one "accident" on my roommates white couch. It pleases me to say that progress is definitely being made.

My angry older sister and her girlfriend Jon came home for the holidays! However, after only a week of constant chaos, they retreated back to their cave in N. Carolina.

My roommates are doing well. Tiffany, Roommate No. 2's alter ego, came out at the most appropriate times during the Thanksgiving weekend (especially when cosmos were involved). Roommate No. 1 has been too busy eating "Mochi Balls" to notice his wife has an alter ego.

Oprah has yet to RSVP to my law school graduation in May 2013 and I am still yet to receive my Life Class Journal.

Although Oprah's Life Class has been over for some time, I am enthusiastic that I will one day meet Oprah and receive my Life Class Journal. 

As for me... I have discovered a routine of bitterness that I have developed that rears its ugly head around this time of year due to the stress that I instill in myself preparing for my upcoming mid-terms and finals.

I have learned that I despise the Commerce Clause, am not interested in the Confrontation Clause, understand the Equal Protection Clause, dislike the entire Family Code and am angry with the whole concept of HEARSAY.

Until next time, here are some pictures summing up the last couple of weeks:

"Exhibit A"

(Monterrey Bay Aquarium With My Momma and Sister)

"Exhibit B"

(Turtle)

 "Exhibit C"

(Jelly)

 "Exhibit D"

(It has a face)

 "Exhibit E"

(Star)

 "Exhibit F"

(Angry Older Sister & I)

 "Exhibit G"

(Thanksgiving Dinner-Brothers!)

 "Exhibit H"

(Turkey)

  "Exhibit I"

(Ms. Nicole Marie and I After Thanksgiving Dinner/Wine)

  "Exhibit J"

(Santa Cruz Hike After Stuffing Myself With Turkey)

"Exhibit K"

(Princess Birthday Party)

"Exhibit L"

(Cinderella Surprised the Birthday Girl! 

I seemed to like her as much as the 3 year olds)

 There are so many more pictures, however, class is ending! Until next time my friends...

What Does My Dream Mean!?

I woke up this morning feeling happy, warm and excited about my day. As reality quickly set in, I remembered the deadlines, stress and amount of work I have for the day.  

This made me question why I woke up with the warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach and where it came from.

Almost immediately dismissing the thought, I continued my morning. And then it hit me.  I realized where the feeling had come from.

You know when you have a dream the night before but when you wake up you cannot remember what the dream was and then you remember the dream at the most random time in the day? 

Well... that happened to me as I let my little prince out for his morning bathroom break.

I had a dream that I received my Life Class Journal in the mail from Oprah. It was brown, leather bound and my name was inscribed on the front in old writing. 

I remember in my dream thinking, "Oh Oprah.... How impatient I was! This whole time you were personally having my name inscribed on my Journal!"

As I remembered my dream and Dylan ran back in the house, I let out a slight giggle and continued my day. I wonder what the dream means?? I am fasinated with dream reading. I know nothing about it. 

Sometimes I have dreams that I can't speak because me teeth are falling out. I always wake up afraid. That was probably weird that I just told you about that.

Have a great day!

321.123. What the heck is bothering me?

Dear Oprah,

Although we have been unable to "catch up" due to my busy schedule, I feel I have an important issue to discuss with you before we are able to continue this friendship.

As you may recall, in your letter to me dated October 5, 2011, you (or your angry intern) specifically stated, "We know many of you are anxious to receive a copy of Oprah's Lifeclass Journal. We are too! The journals are en route and you should be receiving yours by the end of October."

As of today, November 1, 2011, I have not received my Oprah's Life Class Journal that you promised me for being one of the first million students to sign up for Life Class. 

Class started on October 10, 2011.

Because I have not received my Life Class Journal, the following are just a few examples of how this has effected my life:

1. I have been unable to follow along in class because my attention deficit disorder does not allow me to pay attention unless I physically have something in my hand and I am able to take comprehensive notes.
2. Waiting by the U.S. Mail Box in front of my house has caused me to miss or be late to my law school classes. Further, our normal mail carrier has changed his route due to "confrontations that have arisen between him and a resident".
3. My 8:00 a.m. daily morning conversation with my sister has suffered. The other day, my sister and I almost ran out of things to discuss. It was embarrassing. That has never happened to us. We talk 96 times a day and always have something to talk about. When the conversation gets dry, it is common knowledge that we will discuss an "Aha" moment or a Guest Favorite. Without my Oprah's Class Journal, I have been unable to remember what I have learned, which disables me from engaging in good conversation with my sister.
4. My work is suffering. Without being able to recall the skill set that your Life Class is teaching me, my boss has almost lost his head at least 56 times. I have been unable to work through my anger management issues and have, therefore, almost lost my job.
5. Dylan's hair is growing at a snail's pace and I do not have the coping skills necessary to help him get through this difficult time.

In an effort to get my life back on track, please forward me my Oprah's Life Class Journal as soon as possible.

If, however, you are unable to forward my Life Class Journal, I took the initiative to enter a contest on your website to attend a live taping of a Life Class. 

Although my schedule is extremely booked, I would be willing to come to the live tapping to retrieve my Life Class Journal.

Please let me know what you would like to do.

The Best Students Get The Hardest Tests

After an intense 7 hour study session, I thought it was time to catch up on some of Oprah's Life Classes, which I am sad to admit, I have fallen behind in class. 

As I was reading through some of last weeks lessons and watching a couple of the videos, I came across one of my favorite "Aha" moments that Oprah said in a past show while discussing the power of forgiveness. 

For those of you that are unfamiliar with my hero Oprah, an "Aha" moment is a moment of clarity; the aha moment is a defining moment where you gain real wisdom - wisdom you can use to change your life.

O said:

"Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past can be any different. It is accepting that it has happened to you. It is not accepting that it was ok for it to happen."

"Forgiving is giving up the hope, not holding on that it could have been any other way than it actually was. It is giving up the hope that the past could be any different." 

Oprah revisited this "Aha" moment in yesterday's life class with one of Oprah's inspirational speakers, Iyanla Vanzant. 

A man called in and wanted to know the secret to get past his anger. He confessed that he could not let go of the anger he had because he was forced to become an adult when he was a child and had no one to take care of him.

Oprah then asked him: "What is it served for you to keep having that be your story?"

The man answered, "I think I use it as a safety net sometimes for my failures." Aha.

Iyanla Vanzant then told the man three things:

1) She first asked if anyone has told the man they loved him today? He said no. She then told him she loved him.

2) Next, she told him he didn't do anything wrong.

3) Lastly, she assured him that the Best Students Get The Hardest Tests...And when God has something for you to do, he is going to test you to make sure you are ready... So don't punk out.

Oprah Responded!!!!

Oprah responded to me!!!!! 

Although the email I received in my inbox of today's date significantly resembles a "mass email", Oprah answered a few of the questions I posed in my letters to her dated September 11, 2011, September 13, 2011, September 15, 2011, September 18, 2011 and September 27, 2011. 

Oprah's email stated: "We know many of you are anxious to receive a copy of Oprah's Lifeclass Journal. We are too! The journals are en route and you should be receiving yours by the end of October". 

The email also reminded me that Oprah's Lifeclass starts on October 10, 2011 at 8:00 p.m. on Own. 

Little did my dear friend Oprah know, I have a countdown until class starts on every computer I own, an alarm on my phone, a reminder on my ITouch, a sticky note on my car window and a print out of "Things to do Before Oprah's October 10, 2011 Life Class" in my office.

I am well prepared for class. Now I just need my Lifeclass journal. 

And Oprah if you happen to tune into my blog today and because we are now in direct communication, please be advised as follows:

1. I believe you need to reevaluate some of the staff members on your team. I believe you may have a jealous intern who is deleting your fans from your fan page. I understand that it is risky to let people into your circle, so I feel, as your No. 1 fan, it is important to advise you of such questionable activity. 

2. Although the October 1, 2011 deadline has passed, in which you were to respond to my invitation to my Law School Graduation, I am pleased to inform you that I am extending the deadline to an indefinite time, no later than May 2013, so that I may receive a further more detailed response to all of my above stated correspondence. Thank you much. See you in class!

Well This is Awkward

Although many of you may believe that some of my stories are false, or possibly exagerated, I am slightly embarrassed to inform you that they are in fact true.

My dear friend, Ms. Pretty Unpretentious, sent me the following picture this morning with the headline... "Awkward":

"Exhibit A"

Although I felt slightly discouraged from continuing to pursue my dream after I was banned last night from posting on Ms. Winfrey's fan page wall, I am in fact allowed again to proceed with my attempts to bring my idol to my Law School graduation in May 2013. 

And to my Dear Friend Ms. Winfrey: I apologize for the social overload last night and this morning. I admit, the 18th post may have been too much. I promise to limit my daily contacts to you to one social outlet per day. 

Life Class

Dear Oprah:

I received your email dated September 22, 2011, in which you asked me to "watch a special message" from you in regards to your Life Class which starts October 10, 2011 at 8:00 p.m.

Your message confirmed that you have in fact gained over one million students to sign up for class.

Although I appreciate you keeping me informed of the status of your Life Class, I am concerned that you have not gotten back to me regarding the following:

First:

In my email to you dated September 11, 2011, I expressed my concern that I have yet to receive my "Oprah's Class Journal" that you promised in your email to me dated August 18, 2011 because I was ONE of the first million student's to sign up for your Lifeclass.

Because class is starting in just a few weeks, my concerns have grown and my fear of not being prepared for class has heightened.

Although I have given my mail carrier's the heads up, please let me know when I may expect my "Oprah's Class Journal".

Second:

In my letter dated September 13, 2011, I asked you to please get back to me with "regards to attending my Law School Graduation in May 2013 and giving a well-prepared speech". 

I advised you that "I have already filed a petition with my school for an extra ticket for you to sit next to my dad, step-mom, sister, brother-in-law and mom. If you hurry and get back to me, I might be able to put in a request for an additional ticket for Stedman if you were thinking about bringing him".

I also asked you to "Please get back to me with your answer to all of the foregoing no later than October 1, 2011, which is the deadline to submit an Amended Petition to my school for an extra ticket to my May 2013 Law School Graduation".

As of today's date, I have not heard from you.

As October 1, 2011 is approaching, please advise asap to all of the foregoing.

Thank you much and I will see you in class!

E.T. Go Home!

Who ever said this was a "great movie for the whole family" was a liar! 

Pursuant to Black's Law Dictionary, Negligent Infliction of Emotional Distress is defined as the tort of causing another severe emotional distress through one's great negligent conduct.

Most court's will allow a plaintiff to recover damages for emotional distress if the defendant's conduct results in physical contact with the plaintiff or, when no contact occurs, if the plaintiff is in the zone of danger.

Emotional distress is defined as a highly unpleasant mental reaction (i.e. anguish, grief, fright, humiliation or fury) that results from another person's conduct.

The "Zone of Danger" is defined as the dangerous area created by the defendant's negligent conduct.

The making of E.T. was pure negligence: 

The creator's of E.T. owed a duty to little children everywhere. The risk that children would be scarred for life after watching this disturbing movie was 100% foreseeable. 

Further, it is in the best interest of society to protect our children and not have them be exposed to little scary creatures running around trying to use the phone before the age of 18. 

Because the creator's of E.T. had a duty to children everywhere,  they breached said duty by making a film about a little alien that was going to haunt them for the rest of their lives.

Since watching the scary, life changing movie, my sister and I have had to spend an excess amount of money on nightlights, flashlights, heightened electricity bills, therapy, etc. 

The watching of E.T. has disrupted our social life, my sister's married life and has had severe consequences on the completion of our brains fully forming. 

Because the breach of their duty was a substantial factor in causing us severe mental anguish and defendant's conduct resulted in the physical contact with our brain, the creator's of E.T. owe us the following damages:

***An apology for making the most disturbing, scariest movie ever***

However, I will settle this prior to trial if you get Oprah to come to my Law School Graduation in May 2013. Thank you much.

W.W.O.D.

What would Oprah do? 

 

My Dearest Oprah,

Although we share the same likes, dislikes, humor, life, etc., I have a gut feeling our first reaction to this was slightly different. I laughed and now feel guilty for it. I apologize.

Secret Sister

Dear Oprah, 

I hope this letter finds you well. 

Although we have been unable to catch up lately (my law school schedule has been crazy intense- sorry), I wanted to check in and see how things were going between you and your secret sister.

Last year, when you announced to the world that you had discovered a secret sister, I was bombarded with so many different emotions on your behalf. I has excited, scared, surprised, astonished, humbled and curious. 

As you know, I have a sister too!!! I feel so blessed that my sister and I have the best relationship! I wouldn't give it up for the world!!!

My sister and I have created so many memories in the last 20-something years. It makes me sad to think that you and your secret sister missed out on those crucial bonding years.

However, I do believe it is never too late to make some memories with your secret sister to make up for lost time. 

Since I am the "little sister" and understand the needs of your little secret sister, I have compiled some definite "sister do's" and some definite "sister don'ts" below to help you and your secret sister get up to speed with the rest of us! 

The following are some definite do's that you should do with your secret sister:

* Have fun sister sleepovers!

* Allow her to borrow your clothes!

* Watch all of the classic Disney movies, then decide what your favorite is. Next you can force your secret sister to memorize your favorite one and then force her to perform a dance for Gayle and your mom.

* Definitely watch some classic sister movies together. Here are a few to give you an idea, Labyrinth staring David Bowie, The Babysitters Club, Edward Scissorhands, Clueless, etc. 

* Always laugh when she tells you a joke, even when no one else thinks it is funny. She will appreciate this.

* Occasionally allow her tag along with you and Gayle. You can always bring her to a charity event and put her to work. 

* Most importantly, love her unconditionally and always be her Number 1 Fan.  

The following are some definite don'ts that you should avoid while bonding with your sister:

* Do not watch E.T. with your secret sister and then have Gayle crawl on her knees in the dark dressed up in an over sized brown jacket holding a flashlight in the armhole and screaming "E.T. PHONE HOME". 

* Do not trap your sister in the game room because you are not ready to go to bed. Throwing sharp objects at her head is not healthy for your relationship. 

* Do not make your sister watch the movie Chucky and then at around 3 a.m. throw a live Chucky Doll in her room and lock the door when she is trying to get out. 

* Do not hit your sister in the head with a large brush because the brush got stuck in her hair while you were trying to play beauty school. 

* Do not sneak into your sisters room in the middle of the night with fireworks and then as you set the fireworks off shine a light in her face and tell her to FREEZE.  

* Do not scream at your sister. It is scary if you start foaming at the mouth. 

* Do not run over your sisters cat while backing out of your driveway and then tell her he ran away. She will most likely find him in the trash can.

* Most importantly, although it is a sweet gesture, do not beat anyone up for speaking poorly of your sister. Even though you are a girl, it is against the law to commit a battery on a boy.

I hope you find this letter helpful. It is my hope for you and your secret sister to develop the amazing, indescribable relationship I have been lucky enough to form with sister.

Much Love.

Oprah's Dog's Name is Freddy!

Dear Oprah,  

Ok... we really have to meet now. 

I just learned that you have a dog named Freddy! You wouldn't believe it....My dad's name is FREDDY! 

There obviously could be a slight chance that it is merely a coincidence that your dog and my dad both have the same name, HOWEVER, I choose to believe that it is a sign from the universe bringing us together.  

("Exhibit A": Freddy)

  ("Exhibit B": Freddy)

 Think about it. You know where to find me.

Some of My Favorite Things

Happy Wednesday! 

To celebrate, I shall give you one of my favorite Oprah surprises!

Dear Oprah

Today marks the 234,365,278 day that I have consecutively written you a letter. Although I understand you are busy with your new endeavors, I am getting a little concerned with your lack of response. 

I suppose my first 563,789 letters may have been lost in the mail; but the last 233,801,489 that I sent via FedEx First Class, Insured & Return Receipt Requested are making you look a little suspicious.

Any who, I am still waiting for a response to the letter I sent you dated May 10, 2006, in which I asked you your opinion of Dylan's new hair cut. 

To refresh your memory, I am enclosing two pictures of Dylan: 

 The first is a Before Picture, which will give you an idea of what a little risk taker my prince is!

The second is the end result! He is such a trend setter.

You also have not gotten back to me in regards to attending my Law School Graduation in May 2013 and giving a well-prepared speech. I have already filed a petition with my school for an extra ticket for you to sit next to my dad, step-mom, sister, brother-in-law and mom. If you hurry and get back to me, I might be able to put in a request for an additional ticket for Stedman if you were thinking about bringing him. 

I understand that you spoke at your god-daughter's college graduation a few years back. I do not think it would be fair if I wasn't given the same opportunity just because I am not your God-Child, related to you or your secret sister. 

I am, however, your No. 1 fan, so attending my graduation would seem to be fitting.

Please get back to me with your answer to all of the foregoing no later than October 1, 2011, which is the deadline to submit an Amended Petition to my school for an extra ticket to my May 2013 Law School Graduation.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

My Dearest Oprah,

I am still waiting for my "Oprah's Class Journal" that you promised me in your email dated August 18, 2011 because I was ONE of the first million student's to sign up for your Lifeclass. 

I am a little concerned, however, because CLASS starts on October 18, 2011, which is only in 36 days, 875 hours & 52507 minutes.

Please don't embarrass me and make me the only one not prepared for school on the first day.

Dear Oprah

I have thought about writing this letter for over 20 years. I have thought about the exact moment that we meet and how I finally would have the opportunity to express to you how much your show has influenced and changed my life.

I should warn you that I have a slight fear of public speaking and I am infamous for cracking under pressure. With that said, I also wonder if any sound would come out of my mouth when my dream of our two worlds meeting was about to become a reality.

 

My ONE true wish is that my words of gratitude, assuming I was able to stutter through my prepared speech, would touch you so deeply that it would sink you into a full-blown "ugly cry". Then, and only then, would I know that you truly understand how much I have learned and grown from watching your show.

Unfortunately, everyone else on the planet has stolen my words of gratitude, sent you into your ugly cry and left me with a blank sheet of paper that occasionally I stare at while attempting to procrastinate from briefing my law school cases. 

So WHEN we meet, I am offering an apology now for my inability to speak, my shaking hand and the possible tears coming from my eyes.