321.123. What the heck is bothering me?

Dear Oprah,

Although we have been unable to "catch up" due to my busy schedule, I feel I have an important issue to discuss with you before we are able to continue this friendship.

As you may recall, in your letter to me dated October 5, 2011, you (or your angry intern) specifically stated, "We know many of you are anxious to receive a copy of Oprah's Lifeclass Journal. We are too! The journals are en route and you should be receiving yours by the end of October."

As of today, November 1, 2011, I have not received my Oprah's Life Class Journal that you promised me for being one of the first million students to sign up for Life Class. 

Class started on October 10, 2011.

Because I have not received my Life Class Journal, the following are just a few examples of how this has effected my life:

1. I have been unable to follow along in class because my attention deficit disorder does not allow me to pay attention unless I physically have something in my hand and I am able to take comprehensive notes.
2. Waiting by the U.S. Mail Box in front of my house has caused me to miss or be late to my law school classes. Further, our normal mail carrier has changed his route due to "confrontations that have arisen between him and a resident".
3. My 8:00 a.m. daily morning conversation with my sister has suffered. The other day, my sister and I almost ran out of things to discuss. It was embarrassing. That has never happened to us. We talk 96 times a day and always have something to talk about. When the conversation gets dry, it is common knowledge that we will discuss an "Aha" moment or a Guest Favorite. Without my Oprah's Class Journal, I have been unable to remember what I have learned, which disables me from engaging in good conversation with my sister.
4. My work is suffering. Without being able to recall the skill set that your Life Class is teaching me, my boss has almost lost his head at least 56 times. I have been unable to work through my anger management issues and have, therefore, almost lost my job.
5. Dylan's hair is growing at a snail's pace and I do not have the coping skills necessary to help him get through this difficult time.

In an effort to get my life back on track, please forward me my Oprah's Life Class Journal as soon as possible.

If, however, you are unable to forward my Life Class Journal, I took the initiative to enter a contest on your website to attend a live taping of a Life Class. 

Although my schedule is extremely booked, I would be willing to come to the live tapping to retrieve my Life Class Journal.

Please let me know what you would like to do.