Thursday, December 29, 2011

Letter to Santa

Dear Santa, 

I am in disbelief that the holidays are near an end and Christmas has now passed. Although the year seemed to move fairly slow, the holidays seemed to move at an extreme speed!  

I would like to take the opportunity to say "Thank You" from my whole family. I understand it to be fairly difficult to reach every house in the entire world in only one night.

In addition to your long standing obligations, you stopped by my roommates house on Christmas Eve, mingled with my family, listened to our concerns, drank some red wine, ate some cookies, played with my little prince and you even stayed for dinner! You truly out did yourself. 

So... as promised, I am sending you some token pictures of your visit to our 2011 Ugly Sweater Christmas Eve Dinner! I hope you enjoy and please feel free to stop by again next year!

"Exhibit A
(Ugly Sweater Christmas Eve Dinner-My Sister's Girlfriend Won!)
"Exhibit B
(Ms. Nicole Marie and Mr. Oliver Really Out Did themselves)
 "Exhibit C
(Your Little Head Elf was Patiently Awaiting Your Arrival!)

"Exhibit D
(My Angry Older Sister was Angry When She Discovered 
Her Toilet Seat Cover Did Not Win Her The Ultimate Prize)
   "Exhibit E
(Mr. Oliver Showing His Sweet Sweater Off)
"Exhibit F
(My Aunt and Uncle Having Fun Before You Arrived!)

"Exhibit G
(My roommates dressed in ugly onesies)
"Exhibit H
(While the whole family was comparing creativity, to our complete surprise... you showed up!!!)

"Exhibit I" 
(My Little Prince Couldn't Believe His Eyes!)
 
 "Exhibit J" 
(You were so generous... I cannot believe how many gifts you brought!) 
 

"Exhibit H" 
(After receiving your favorite type of wine, you invited all of us to sit on your lap... 
Just like when we were little!)  

"Exhibit I" 
(Everyone could not wait to get a turn!) 
  "Exhibit J" 
(My roommates were ecstatic! Roommate No. 1 said he had not seen 
Saint Nicholas since his days in the jungles of Colombia!)  
 "Exhibit K" 
(You made his Christmas!)  
 "Exhibit L" 
(After everyone had their turn sitting on your lap, you wanted to pose for pictures!)

 "Exhibit M" 
(After pictures, I caught you jumping for joy outside!)

  "Exhibit N" 
(I was even surprised to see you "planking"!) 
   "Exhibit O" 
(Thank you from all of us for giving us the BEST Christmas present of all time!) 

SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!

Monday, December 19, 2011

I can't stop laughing....


It's Time to Let Go...

Love.. love... love... Iyanla Vanzant

I love when I read something Ms. Vanzant writes and am inspired.... which is often

"When a thing has served its purpose, it will go away. Sometimes it will break. At other times, it will simply die off. Then, there are those times when for no reason, it will simply fall apart. If you try to hold on to something that has already fulfilled its purpose in your life, you are going to hurt yourself. If holding on is disturbing your peace of mind, it makes sense to let it go. "

-Iyanla Vanzant on letting go.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

How to Know if Your Dog Needs Training...


Thank goodness... After watching this video... I have come to the conclusion that Dylan definitely does not need any training...

In order to determine whether your dog needs training, you must first have the following:
  1. Problem Dog
  2. Discouragement
  3. Temporment
Step 1: Recoginize if you have a problem dog? Does your dog bite or chew the furniture? Are they consistently disobedient?
  • Dylan has never chewed the furniture and is only sometimes disobedient. 
Step 2: Ask yourself whether you have become discouraged in your attempts to train the dog? Do you feel trapped with a disobedient dog?
  • I will never become discouraged with training Dylan. We always learn new tricks together! 
Step 3: Consider your overall training goals for the dog.
  • My training goals for Dylan are as follows: (1) Dylan can be in the same room as children and not attack them; (2) I can pick Dylan up without the fear of him attacking me while he is sitting in a corner; (3) My roommates feel safe in their own home; (4) Dylan and I can walk peacefully throughout the neighborhood without have any attacking incidents on the neighbors, their children or their dogs; and (5) Dylan will learn to enjoy wearing human clothing.
Step 4: Consider the dogs temperament and level of confidence.Whether the dog is unable to control his temperament level.
  • Although he has had some issues controlling his temperament level, for the most part, Dylan has his attitude under control.  
Step 5: If the dog is only able to obey you out of fear, consider training school.
  • Dylan 100% does not fear me or anyone.
I knew it! Dylan is a good dog and I am a good mother! All he needs is a few more treats, some new tricks and maybe another brother or sister. 

Saturday, December 3, 2011

I love Scaring My Roommates....

Don't let this fool you... they love the fact that their adult daughter still resides with them... 

video

Thursday, December 1, 2011

I'm Alive!

Dear My Loyal Blog Followers: 

Although I have not updated my wonderful blog for some time, I still very much appreciate the daily support that you have all given me.

Let me get straight to the point, I am alive, I am in the middle of studying for mid-terms and finals, I am sick and (at this exact moment) I am sitting in evidence, not paying attention, because I have nose drool running down my face. 

Here are some quick updates:

My little prince, Dylan, is alive, happy and fat from his Thanksgiving feasts. I am happy to report Mr. Dylan only attacked three (3) Thanksgiving guests during the holidays and only had one "accident" on my roommates white couch. It pleases me to say that progress is definitely being made.

My angry older sister and her girlfriend Jon came home for the holidays! However, after only a week of constant chaos, they retreated back to their cave in N. Carolina.

My roommates are doing well. Tiffany, Roommate No. 2's alter ego, came out at the most appropriate times during the Thanksgiving weekend (especially when cosmos were involved). Roommate No. 1 has been too busy eating "Mochi Balls" to notice his wife has an alter ego.

Oprah has yet to RSVP to my law school graduation in May 2013 and I am still yet to receive my Life Class Journal.

Although Oprah's Life Class has been over for some time, I am enthusiastic that I will one day meet Oprah and receive my Life Class Journal. 

As for me... I have discovered a routine of bitterness that I have developed that rears its ugly head around this time of year due to the stress that I instill in myself preparing for my upcoming mid-terms and finals.

I have learned that I despise the Commerce Clause, am not interested in the Confrontation Clause, understand the Equal Protection Clause, dislike the entire Family Code and am angry with the whole concept of HEARSAY.

Until next time, here are some pictures summing up the last couple of weeks:
"Exhibit A"
(Monterrey Bay Aquarium With My Momma and Sister)
"Exhibit B"
(Turtle)
 "Exhibit C"
(Jelly)
 "Exhibit D"
(It has a face)
 "Exhibit E"
(Star)
 "Exhibit F"
(Angry Older Sister & I)
 "Exhibit G"
(Thanksgiving Dinner-Brothers!)
 "Exhibit H"
(Turkey)
  "Exhibit I"
(Ms. Nicole Marie and I After Thanksgiving Dinner/Wine)
  "Exhibit J"
(Santa Cruz Hike After Stuffing Myself With Turkey)
"Exhibit K"
(Princess Birthday Party)
"Exhibit L"
(Cinderella Surprised the Birthday Girl! 
I seemed to like her as much as the 3 year olds)

 There are so many more pictures, however, class is ending! Until next time my friends...

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Creepy Craigslist Killer

My friend just sent me this Craigslist Posting:

"Let me be clear. I want a girlfriend. But, I don't really want a girlfriend.

I just want one for the holidays.

Let's recognize something. The holidays suck, especially for us single people. All of your coupled friends are going to be doing couple things: snuggling by the fire, going to dinner at each others' parents houses, blahblahbarf.

Let's recognize another thing. Deep down inside, you don't want to be alone for the holidays. You want someone to do all of those cute snuggly things with, someone to get fat and keep warm next to (let's also recognize that it's getting f* cold here), and someone to accompany you to your friends' coupley holiday parties so they don't keep thinking you're a loser destined for permanent solo status.

But, you've spent all year working on your career / training for charity bike rides / getting drunk and haven't had the time or inclination to track down and capture a boyfriend. And even if you did, you're not really sure you'd want to keep him after the holidays are over, anyway.

The solution:

Be my girlfriend for the holidays. And only for the holidays.

How it works:

You reply with a picture and a brief bio (250 words max. To give you an idea, this posting is 499). If it seems like a good fit we'll set up a casual mini-date (coffee, beer, or whatever). If that's a success and we're both feeling it, we'll date until 11:59PM, January 2nd, 2012. After that we can still be friends (unless we hate each other, then we can downshift to the occasional drunken booty call).

The benefits:

• You have someone to keep you company on these witch-tit-cold San Francisco nights. Did I mention I'm an excellent cuddler? (I have references.)

• I like to cook. Especially for others. Nothing too fancy, but always tasty and satisfying. As long as you're an omnivore, you win.

• Having done it professionally for some years to pay for school, I know my way around a bar. Same goes for wine cellars and beer coolers. Homemade winter warmers? Done.

• Hate holiday music? Me too. Seeing as every other establishment or event you step into will be playing it, I'll spare you the excess.

• Love taking photos? Sweet. Let's wear gaudy holiday attire and make ridiculous Xmas postcards to send your friends and family. Just for the lulz.

• Worried about finding someone to kiss on New Year's Eve who doesn't look (or sound) like Sloth's cousin? Boom! Got you covered.

About Me:

28 years old, small business owner, active (cyclist, surfer, snowboarder), outgoing, easy on the eyes.

Not About You (aka Dealbreakers or, Don't Bother if You Exhibit the Following):

Heavy drug use, laziness, prudishness, still in love with old boy or girlfriend from years past (or if you secretly are, at least have the damn decency to not blab on about it).

Interested? Then send your pic and bio and get this ball rolling."

Are you kidding? YES, I would love to send in my resume, biography and picture to you, Mr. Creepy Craigslist Killer, so that you can use me for the holidays

Gross.

Dear Potential Bait for Mr. Creepy Craigslist Killer, Please. For the sake of women kind. Do not answer him. 

And Creepy Craigslist Killer, although I found this slightly entertaining and understand it is most likely (or hopefully) a joke amongst you and your fraternity brothers, it does not shed you in the best of light.

2011 California Bar Examination Results Are Revealed Today!

Today marks the day that people who took the California State Bar this past summer find out if they passed or not!

That means, in exactly 2 years, on this day, I will be at a bar, with all of my friends, family & random strangers, drinking until I find out whether or not I passed THE bar! I cannot wait!

Good luck to everyone that is waiting for their results! I will be thinking about you all day and sending good thoughts your way!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

My Dad's Alter Ego Rebecca

One weekend, not so long ago, my roommates and I went out to dinner. After Roommate No. 2 and I polished off a couple bottles glasses of wine, Roommate No. 1 (Freddy) did his duties and drove us home safely.

When we arrived home, Roommate No. 1 retreated to his man cave and Roommate No. 2 and I continued the party.

As she was being her usually funny self, Roommate No. 2 proclaimed that she has an alter ego named "Tiffany"! We both laughed and I expressed to "Tiffany" how much fun she was and how I wished "Tiffany" could come out all the time.

As "Tiffany" continued to be the life of the party, Roommate No. 1 runs into the room where "Tiffany" and I were sitting and, with much excitement, proclaimed his intention of creating an alter ego as well.

As "Tiffany" and I listen intently, Roommate No. 2 revealed his alter ego's name:  

"Rebecca"

Trying not to crush my father's dreams of having an alter ego named "Rebecca", I immediately advised him that his alter ego could in fact be a boy.

Giving Tiffany and I a puzzled look as we laughed uncontrollably, Roommate No. 1 returned back to his man cave, where women, regardless of their names, are not allowed.

Since I have started law school...

I believe talking to myself is normal behavior. 

I laugh at jokes dealing with "Black Acre". 

I understand the Commerce Clause to be magical. 

I think politics is comparable to a bad relationship; Making a lot of promises you cannot actually, legally keep.
 
I have become a master at time management. 
 
The excuse, "I'm sorry; I was really busy" 100% doesn't fly with me.
 
Although I am busier than ever, I always believe I can take on more tasks.
 
I value my time spent at home.
 
I sometimes speak how I write, which is awkward when you are not in a professional setting. 

My whole family might be able to take the bar with me in 2013 because of how much I discuss law school with them.

I learned very early on that Law School has nothing to do with the law.
 
I get awkwardly excited when other students share learning secrets with me. 

I have mastered the art of graphing, turning a hypothetical into a full drawing, connecting dots that I didn't know existed and arguing points I have no interest in.

I have yet to, however, master a law school exam. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Ok... I'm going to save it with a solo.



I can't see the screen I am laughing so hard right now. Kills me every time.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Why. Why. Why.


Sister, you look really pretty.

Happy Birthday!!!

Today is Ms. Nicole Marie Who's Birthday! She is officially 21 years old!!! I kid. I kid. She is almost hitting the big 3-0.

"Exhibit A"
(Birthday Girl and Me!)

The family, minus my angry older sister and her girlfriend, Jon, got together Saturday night and celebrated both, Ms. Nicole Marie Who's birthday and her monkey brother's birthday! Their birthday's are a day apart.

"Exhibit B"
(Monkey Cousin's Patient Girlfriend & Monkey Cousin)
My aunt and uncle hosted Nicole and Bryan's Saturday night birthday dinner at their house and surprised us with a guest!

"Exhibit C"
(My Roommate & Dinner Guest!)

My roommate was especially happy to meet Mr. Bieber. Although my roommate took up much of his time, Mr. Bieber was gracious enough to mingle with the other guests:

"Exhibit D"
"Exhibit E"
Mr. Bieber even went shopping with us to help me pick out some new shades!
"Exhibit F"

After Mr. Bieber left, we ate cake, drank wine and made fun of each other. Overall, it was a great night!

"Exhibit G"

Happy Birthday to both of my cousins! I love you very much! Now go and show Ms. Nicole Marie Who some love HERE!