Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween Everyone! 

I had a great time in Houston this past weekend! You will be pleased to know that I tried my best to accurately represent to all of the Texans how Cali Girls dress up for Halloween:

Although the decision was extremely hard, I was able to narrow down my Halloween Costume to one of the following:

"Exhibit A"
(Me Dressed as The Hulk)

 "Exhibit B"
(Me Dressed as Golden Buddha)

 And finally,  with only a couple of hours to spare before our Halloween party, I found the perfect costume:

 "Exhibit C"
 (The Easter Bunny) 

"Exhibit D"
(I'm the Bunny)

 Happy Halloween!!!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Funniest Family Member of 2011

This week has been intense.  

From work being out of control busy and school being slightly overwhelming, it did not help my week hearing that my dad's train derailed while he was on a business trip in Madrid. (True story, but I am being 100% dramatic... duh.)

In anticipation of my dad's return home, I wrote THIS letter to my dad, advising him to call me to assure me he was ok or I would jump on a flight to Madrid to find him.

In response to my blog post, my dad wrote the following on Facebook: 

Dad: "I wish I knew how to comment on your blog but since I don't know, I'll comment here. I am on my way home safe and sound. Although I felt like crying like a little girl when the train was shaking violently, I managed to hold it together and not soil my pants. I video recorded the evacuation with my iPhone but when I got back to the station they made me erase it."

Me: "Dad. I miss you. You might win the funniest family member 2011. The title seems to be solidly in your hands as of this date. Although I want to spend the whole weekend catching up, painting our nails and gossiping with you, I unfortunately have some business to attend to this weekend. Our catch up session will have to wait until Monday. I ♥ you!"

Note- As you may recall, my family has a competition every year to recognize/ award the family member who has exerted the funniest behavior for the year. It is the ultimate award. To read more about this exciting family tradition, click HERE

The picture below is just an example why my father has previous claimed the title.  

"Exhibit A
(My Dad [Left] and Uncle [Right] on Christmas 2011)
Now back to the Facebook Chain:

My dear cousin, Ms. Nicole Marie, always gives my dad some competition. She responded to our Facebook Chain with the following:

Ms. Nicole Marie: "Dearest Uncle, I am so glad to hear you are ok from that super scary experience and am going to have to agree with Xtina you are banned form traveling anymore. In regards to your post above I am chuckling to myself as to the fact that you know what soling yourself means and that you admitted you almost did. fhjkdfhjsdhfk. You might just win this contest 3 years in a row. You need to send out a fam email about how your going to win again and how everyone else needs to step it up because you are so funny! =)"

In response, my Dad writes: "Thank you girls for your kind words of concern. You three are the ones I thought off as sparks were flying, smoke was filling the coach babies were crying women were screaming. It was hard to remain composed as I did thru the small fire just outside of my door. I tried to save as many as I could but it was impossible, I couldn't carry the fat ones. It was god's will."

He makes my heart whole. I wonder if anyone else thinks he is as funny as we do! I guess it would be helpful to understand that my dad talks with a slight Colombian accent and shocks us with certain English words, i.e. soil in pants, that we never knew he knew.

Step it up family. The day is getting nearer that "The 2011 Funniest Family Member" will be crowned! 

Good Luck!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Highs & Lows for the Week


* Realizing that tomorrow is Friday!
* Watching Oprah's Life Class Re: When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
* Having Constitutional Law twice this week.
* Telling an 80 year old man at Starbucks how important it is for him to read "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" by Steve Harvey.
* Having a stranger buy me coffee in a drive thru.
* Buying a stranger coffee the next day to "pay it forward" in a drive thru.
* Getting much needed sleep.
* Getting inspired by the Girls Leadership Institute.
* Telling my boss no.
* Deciding to be a Ninja Turtle for Halloween.
* Dylan is going to be splinter. 


* Missing my 8:00 a.m. conversation with my sister this morning due to my crap schedule.
* Having to wake up and be to work almost every day this week before 8:00 a.m.
* Reading so much that my eyes feel like they are about to catch on fire.
* Dylan starving himself again during fashion week.
* Catching the Devil Dog eat my lunch.
* Getting home every night from school around 10:30 and realizing that it is too late to eat.
* The anticipation of having to be at work at 5:00 a.m. tomorrow morning, which means having to leave my house around 4:15 a.m., which means having to get up at 3:30 a.m., which means I just had a panic attack.

So apparently this concept of having "fun" while in law school and working 30+ hours a week is close to impossible.

Although I have thoroughly enjoyed the amazing vacations I have been fortunate enough to take this past month, I am paying for it at work and in school. This is the reason I have been so out of touch.

I wonder if my roommates would care if I quit my job and just focused on my love for the law and working at the charity of my choice for the remainder of law school. That makes me happy just thinking about the possibility.

I am slightly stressed. I need a vacation.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Dear Freddy

Roommate No. 2 just causally informed me that your train derailed in Madrid. If you are safe you have approximately 17 hours to call me before I fly to Madrid to find out for myself.

Assuming that your are safe because you had enough strength to call Roommate No. 2, I would like to place some new ground rules on your current trip overseas: (1) You are no longer allowed to ride the train. (2) You are no longer allowed to travel. (3) You are no longer allowed to leave the house.

This is why you both probably give me minimal information. The countdown begins

You now have 16 hours and 45 minutes. I will be patiently waiting by my phone.

Pay It Forward

After I got off of work and on my way to the Law Library, I decided to go through the Starbucks Drive Thru to get a cup of coffee. I have about 50 in a day. I will address this issue after law school.

As I was about to order, I thought to myself that I really shouldn't be spending my money on this many coffees a day. When you drink as much coffee as I do, it starts to add up.

As the thought of saving money entered and exited my brain within 2.5 seconds, I ordered and then made my way to the window. 

After the nice Barista handed me my coffee, I went to give her my card. She quickly said that the "man" behind me "already took care of it."

Well... Well... Well... Wasn't that nice? Thank you mystery man. I promise the next time I am going through the Starbucks Drive Thru (i.e. tomorrow), I will pay your generosity forward and buy the person's coffee in front of me.

The Devil Ate My Lunch

This morning started out no different than any other morning. 

I woke up to the sound of "Oh Happy Day" by the guy in Sister Act 2 around 6:04 a.m. As I reached over to press snooze, I accidently kicked Dylan in the head. 

Feeling badly for hurting my little prince, I called for him to come closer so that I could pet him. This usually wakes me up and the "snooze" that I just attempted is no longer necessary.

With one eye open, I lead my little prince and his sister, the devil dog, downstairs to the backyard so they could have their morning bathroom break. 

"Exhibit A"
(My Little Prince)

"Exhibit B"
(Devil Dog

While the dogs caused chaos in the backyard, I walked to the coffee machine to make some of Colombia's finest. While my man Juan Valdez was brewing, I began to make my lunch for the day. 

Because I leave my house everyday around 7:45 a.m. and am unable to return home until after school, which is around 10:30 p.m., preparing my lunch for the day is a necessity. 

This particular morning I decided to make enough chicken to last me for the week so that I can ax this part of my routine for at least a couple of days. I pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees and when the oven was ready, placed my chicken into the oven for approximately 10-15 minutes. (They were small strips of chicken)

About 10-15 minutes later I heared the buzzer sound. I then ran downstairs and took the chicken out of the oven and placed it on the island in our kitchen. I left it there to cool while I went back upstairs to continue getting pretty for the day.

Fast Forward 45 Minutes.

After I was ready for the day, I tricked my little prince and his beefy sister Bella into the garage. I then gathered my school books, computer and everything else I needed for the day. As I was about to leave the house, I remembered that I made lunch and it was waiting for me on the island!

I walked back into the kitchen only to find an empty pan. Hmmmm... That's weird. I wonder if Roommate No. 2 was nice enough to pack my lunch for me. It must be in the refrigerator.

Well...After checking the fridge and looking in odd places around the house, I called Roomie No. 2 to ask where my lunch went. As I grabbed for my phone, I noticed claw marks on the tin foil that lined the pan where my chicken once laid.

Ruling out my little prince because of his height and weight, I realized that it was Devil Dog!

However, before I pointed my finger at the tubby dog, I called Roomie No. 2 just to make sure she didn't accidentally hide my lunch. She confirmed that she had nothing to do with my chicken disappearing. Just as I suspected.

I walked out to the garage to see the culprit. She was asleep. In her bed. Covered with her favorite blanket. She was in a food coma from eating my chicken that was supposed to last me a week!

Not cool Bella.

Article 1 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights

"All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood."

I love this so much I graciously had it placed in permanent ink on my body... in Tibetan. No big deal. Freddy may have thought so. He got over it once I flexed my muscles. Plus, every time he even begins to become upset with me, I remind him I once looked like this:

"Exhibit A"

 Works every time.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Mary J is Coming to the Bay!

I just got an email from my friend Ticketmaster and they advised me that Mary J is coming to the Bay! 

Other than Oprah, Erykah Badu and Ms. Lauryn Hill (even though we are not speaking at the moment per her stunt at Rock the Bells in 2010), Mary J is the voice I love to hear when I am getting ready, going to bed, waking up, working out, etc. 

Yes Ticketmaster, I accept the invite. Thank you much.

Law School is Scary

Last night I spoke at my Law School's Open House for the first time. 

Although I was excited to accept the invitation to be one of the pannelists, as I stepped in front of the crowd of potential law students I quickly remembered my slight fear of public speaking. 

However, after a nice pep talk with myself, I did great. 

One of the things that I spoke of was my fear of even entering into Law School. 

I told our guests that 3 1/2 years ago I was sitting in their spot (with my roommate) fearfully listening to the panel of speakers discuss what it is like being in law school, graduating law school and actually practicing law. 

Their schedules sounded like this:

Wake up before the sun rises, get ready for work, listen to law school cd's as they are getting ready for work, drive to work, as they drive to work, they listen to law school cd's, arrive at work, brief cases on their lunch break, get off of work, brief cases, arrive to school, participate in class, brief cases in class, leave school, drive home while listening to law school cd's, make dinner and read cases while eating dinner. 

Most of the panelists did the above routine with spouses, children, full-time jobs, etc. 

I remember walking out of the open house thinking that I would never get to that point. I constantly questioned whether I was willing to give up my life for that type of dedication or even if I could give it up. 

As I spoke to the potential law students last night, I realized that my life unintentionally became the life of the law student that my panelists 3 1/2 years ago so accurately described. 

Although I have made many sacrifices throughout this process, it never felt like I couldn't handle it. I just adjusted to my circumstances for the time being.  

Which means a couple of things to me: (1) When things need to get done, you will do them. (2) An overwhelming schedule will turn you into a master of time management. (3) The craziest things, like the schedule above, do not sound so crazy to me anymore. (4) You only really need a couple of hours a sleep a night. (5) I am no longer afraid of putting in a little time and effort toward something I want.

Tasmanian Devil Broke into My Office

Get ready... you are about to read a rant. I apologize in advance. 

Every morning when I arrive to work, my desk is a mess and disorganized. Why? Why? Why? 

Although I may be a procrastinator and sometimes slightly disorganized in my own life, I am annoyingly O.C.D. organized at work.

Everyday when I leave work, there is never a project unfinished, never a file out of place and my desk is always clean, clear and organized.

Yet, everyday when I return, only a few hours later, my desk looks as though a Tasmanian Devil broke into my office, caused as much destruction as humanly possible and left the scene just in time for me to fix the chaos that just took place. 

"Exhibit A"
(Tasmanian Devil)
When this madness first started to occur, I thought to myself:

"Self: how can I make my buddy's life even easier so that the Tasmanian Devil in him will not come out every night and I can arrive to work with a clean, clear and organized desk... just how I left it?"

I started to create new tricks to make it easier for my little Tasmanian Devil to find things. I began to label everything. I implemented a new filing system within our filing system to make things more self-explanatory. 

I color code, make lists for the color code and make instructions for the color code... nothing works.

I have frequently tried to learn and understand the logic and behavior behind my little Tasmanian Devil's actions. I have become a fantastic listener, I am attentive, I make sure my Tasmanian Devil's stress levels are low. 

But still, this creature has a mind of its own. 

Why, my little Tasmanian Devil, do you insist on reorganizing my desk everyday? Although I understand it is your nature to spin very quickly, trying to keep up with the madness is becoming overwhelming.  

P.S. THE STAPLER DOES NOT GO ON THE FLOOR! I feel better. Thank you.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I Relapsed

I was doing soooo well. 

I am sad to inform you all that I had a relapse this past weekend.

I was 37 days clean.  In my "I Survived" cry for help, I declared that in order to be able to sleep at night without having scary nightmares about getting captured, kidnapped and brutally slayed, I swore to myself I would stop watching "I Survived".

As a recap,  for those of you that don't know of this addicting, crazy, scary, intense show, I suggest that you watch it with caution. If you like it, I promise, all of the weird, intense behavior that I sometimes exhibit will soon become your daily routine. Be careful.

The reality of the horror that happens in our society petrifies me. So... I do what every normal girl my age does when something petrifies you... continue to welcome it into your life

On my way home from New York last Sunday, the wonderful Jet Blue has individual T.V.'s for every passenger. 

I had the option to literally watch anything... News, Sports, Re-runs of F.r.i.e.n.d.s., past clips of Shark Week... But of course the suspense was killing me and I decided to watch "I Survived" while the young girl next to me looked on in horror. 

I didn't care

I watched 3 hours of it. Why do I do this to myself!?

The first story was a woman recapping getting brutally attacked at the hotel she worked at by a man who was staying there: Perfect. I will never stay, work or walk through a hotel ever again. Check.

The second story was about recapping a first date, where a young woman and her friend were shot execution style at a deserted reservoir. Perfect. I will never travel to a desert reservoir nor will I ever go on a date again. Check.

The next was about an 18-year-old who had both his arms torn off in an accident on the family farm. Perfect. I will never have, own or explore a family farm nor will I ever go to one again. Check.

The show continued with a mother and her two young children being abducted and taken into the Florida Everglades by a crazed attacker. Perfect. I will never live, travel or go to the Florida Everglades again. Check.

And finally, just as I started to change the station (a.k.a we landed), I finished the story of a young nurse being abducted and tortured by a serial killer who had already murdered four other women. Perfect. I will never speak to a serial killer. Check.

I understand there is a fine line of being aware of the evils in our society and being addicted to being aware.

However, I feel as though I am able to justify my behavior (Says the addict): 

Oprah once said, "When you know better, you do better." 

I am just trying to know better! I think I need an intervention. Oh that show is addicting too.

Someone is in a Good Mood This Morning

I love when Dylan wakes up in a playful, happy mood! Things go so much more smoothly.

We laughed, we played, we took pictures, we ate breakfast together, we learned new tricks. I wonder why he is in such a good mood.

"Exhibit A"
(Dylan Just waking up)

 "Exhibit B"
(Dylan took Off his Scarf) 

 "Exhibit C"
(Dylan started a friendly game of tug-a-war) 
"Exhibit D"
(Sometimes Dylan gets a little too competitive- That means the game is over) 
Exhibit E"
(Treat/Trick Time) 
Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Best Students Get The Hardest Tests

After an intense 7 hour study session, I thought it was time to catch up on some of Oprah's Life Classes, which I am sad to admit, I have fallen behind in class. 

As I was reading through some of last weeks lessons and watching a couple of the videos, I came across one of my favorite "Aha" moments that Oprah said in a past show while discussing the power of forgiveness. 

For those of you that are unfamiliar with my hero Oprah, an "Aha" moment is a moment of clarity; the aha moment is a defining moment where you gain real wisdom - wisdom you can use to change your life.

O said:

"Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past can be any different. It is accepting that it has happened to you. It is not accepting that it was ok for it to happen."

"Forgiving is giving up the hope, not holding on that it could have been any other way than it actually was. It is giving up the hope that the past could be any different." 

Oprah revisited this "Aha" moment in yesterday's life class with one of Oprah's inspirational speakers, Iyanla Vanzant. 

A man called in and wanted to know the secret to get past his anger. He confessed that he could not let go of the anger he had because he was forced to become an adult when he was a child and had no one to take care of him.

Oprah then asked him: "What is it served for you to keep having that be your story?"

The man answered, "I think I use it as a safety net sometimes for my failures." Aha.

Iyanla Vanzant then told the man three things:

1) She first asked if anyone has told the man they loved him today? He said no. She then told him she loved him.

2) Next, she told him he didn't do anything wrong.

3) Lastly, she assured him that the Best Students Get The Hardest Tests...And when God has something for you to do, he is going to test you to make sure you are ready... So don't punk out.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Wait... Is This Bad?

So... My "friend's" boss may be slightly behind in the world of technology. However, this is excellent for me her because he truly believes that she is a computer genius!

However, being a computer genius has its downsides... like being the only one able to access YouTube in the office. 

A couple of years back, after hearing repeated references from her boss to the old TV Show "The Loan Ranger" and before her boss was able to explain for the 143,254 time what "pale face" actually meant, my "friend" quickly accessed YouTube so that she could see the "joke" first hand. 

This officially began the YouTube Phenomenon. 

As she accessed YouTube for the first time, her boss was shocked. After watching a scene from the Loan Ranger, he expressed his excitement and disbelief that he was able to see that scene again. He had not watched the Loan Ranger since he was a little boy. 

Soon thereafter, YouTube references became their daily routine. My "friends" boss was determined to find something that was not on YouTube. He would, therefore, make me my "friend" do repeated searches throughout the day to test whether or not YouTube really had everything

To my friends dismay, YouTube did have everything. Literally, every 1920's, 1930's, 1940's & 1950's reference; YouTube had the clip. 

Work began to pick up and being the determined, hard working, ambitious, beautiful, reliable, amazing person my friend is, she desperately wanted to minimize the time at work spent "playing" YouTubes and maximize the amount of time spent actually working.

Although this may seem like an easy task, advising her Boss that she will no longer help him look up YouTube videos was certainly out of the question.

My "friend" then came up with a brilliant idea. Being the computer genius that she is, she gently advised my her boss that YouTube was no longer compatible with their computer and they would no longer be able to watch YouTube videos in the future.

As my her boss sadly retreated to his office, my "friend" let out a sigh of relief that she would now be able to concentrate on work and not be interrupted by the sound of "Let's Do a YouTube" any longer.

About a year after my friend broke the news to her boss that YouTube was no longer compatible with their computer, my her boss began going through a tough time. 

One morning, my "friend" decided to do something that would undoubtedly make her boss happy again: Bring YouTube Back. 

When her boss walked into work on this particular morning, my "friend" yelled to him, "guess what? I figured out how to get YouTube back on our computer!"

My "friend's" boss jumped with joy and my friend was happy to see her boss excited about life again. Plus, because my "friend" was able to fix YouTube for her boss, she was now considered a "brilliant computer genius"! 

My "friend's" boss immediately had a list of YouTube videos that he wanted to look up. 

She immediately regretted what she had done. Fml. I mean her life.

Update: NYC, Letterman, Etc.

I am back! Before I jump fully back into my daily grind, I would like to put some very important thoughts down on paper:

1) New York CitySuccess. Although I have some major catching up to do in school and life, traveling to New York with my family was worth it. 

2) New York Friends:  Christopher, you old son of a gun, I already miss you! That goes for you too Caesar!

Aileen, please don't ever stop scaring your grandchild by turning yourself into a pirate when you want her to behave. 

Judy, please understand that when my sister hears you refer to your cat "Stinky" she believes you are talking about me. She not only abused me by throwing objects at me when I was younger, but also with words. Your cats name must, therefore, be used with caution.

Andy Samburg, please don't stop making inappropriate videos.

3) 2011 Making Strides Against Breast Cancer, Long Island, NY Style: Last Tuesday, I posted THIS asking everyone to help Mary make her goal of $1,000. 

This weekend I discovered that Mary not only made her goal of $1,000, but she exceeded it! Thank you to everyone that donated! You made this past weekend extra special for Mary and her family.

4) My Sister and Brother-In-Law Are Famous: Remember how my sister was going to be on David Letterman!? Well, she made it

"Exhibit A"- 
(Where is Sister and Jon?)
"Exhibit B"
(There they are!)

 Night Night... Don't Let Dylan Bite. 

Dylan Got Bullied!

Dear Dylan,

I apologize for the incident that took place last Tuesday. My failed attempt at trying to do something funny has unintentionally made you insecure and timid.

Your groomer informed me that because I had waited a tad bit longer than normal to cut your hair, they had no choice but to shave it all off.  Thankfully they were able to save the hair on your ears and tail. 

"Exhibit A"
To counteract the humility in which I believed you would face in the furture, I agreed to allow them to turn you into a leopard.

"Exhibit B"
Unfortunately, my attempt to shield you from the evils of society failed and the inevitable happened... You were bullied.

The day I left for New York was the day of the above said incident.   
The original plan was to take you to your favorite upscale Pet Motel for a two night stay which would last until Saturday morning. 
Your Aunty Christine would then pick you up from the Pet Motel to stay with her and Uncle Steven for the remainder of the weekend so that you would be able to play with your Cousin Charlie.  

"Exhibit C"- Cousin Charlie
The original plan fell short of perfect when I walked you and your new haircut into your not so favorite Pet Motel.

You began to shake and my heart melted. The nice concierge brought you to the back so that you were able to "assimilate" with the rest of the dogs.

Feeling slightly uneasy, I asked the co-concierge for a tour.

Prior to my "tour", I asked the co-concierge to explain what the "assimilation process" was. She explained that you would be placed in a supervised closed, secure area. The concierge would then introduce you to each of the dogs in the dog pack until all dogs are in the closed, secure area together.

I thought to myself: That doesn't sound too bad.

I was then led throughout the Pet Motel paying less than close attention to anything the concierge said, just waiting to get at least a glimpse of the "assimilation" process.

Then it happened. I saw you. My Prince. In the corner of a not so secure, closed off area. There were three dogs surrounding you. They were growling. You were in the fetal position. I have never seen you this submissive. You were being bullied!

The concierge quickly ran up to you and your abusers to place you back in the "supervised location" where the "assimilation process" was supposedly taking place.

I was mortified. My heart sank. I asked him who was supervising the dogs and the concierge quickly rebutted all of my concerns with some indirect reason as to why the dogs were "playing" in an unsupervised area.

Knowing that my flight to New York took off in only a couple of hours, I did what any reasonable, quick thinking mother would do: I left you.

Although I stand by my decision to leave you in the hands of the wolves that bullied you, I apologize if the bulling continued. Bullies don't like what is different.  

The bullies were just jealous of your spots.

However, we must move forward and understand that every hard situation just makes us stronger son.

Keep your head up. Your fur will grow back, your spots will come off, life will soon be back to normal. I promise.

I love you! 

Blog Lesson No. 382:

I have once again learned a very valuable lesson of the blog world. Although I understand that my blog is public, I do not believe I have quite grasped the concept that people read what I write. 

I should first note: It makes me extremely happy to know that people too find David Bowie creepy yet interesting, they believe that Law School is hard yet attainable, they laugh along with me while I crack jokes directed at my sister and her girlfriend Jon and, of course, share the love of my son, Dylan, with me.

"Exhibit A" -Love for Dylan
However, I have learned that when I share the deepest of our family secrets, such as Dylan's behavioral issues, with all of my blog friends, I run the risk of no one wanting to watch Dylan while I jet set around the country... Hence, the Pet Motel. 

Lesson learned: If I ever want a future dog sitter, do not discuss the fact that Dylan does not do well on leashes, attacks little children and black dogs, has "little dog syndrome", is very hard to find in the morning, sometimes likes to play "hide and go seek", likes to escape his habitation at times and occasionally digs through dirt. 

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Leavin on a Jet Plane...

Dear My Loyal Blog Followers,

I am catching a red eye to New York for my cousin's wedding and will be MIA until Sunday.

I understand how troublesome this may be for some of you, so I decided to give you a little preview of what important life lessons, letters to Oprah, things I've learned in law school, Dylan's life struggles and stories that mock my sister are to come.

The following is a picture of my son's new hair cut and new hair color in which he received in response to my roommates repeated requests:

Although Dylan's groomer did a good job considering what they were given, Dylan is not a happy camper to say the least.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

2011 Making Strides Against Breast Cancer- Long Island NY Style

My family and I are traveling to New York this weekend for my cousin's wedding! We are all so excited!

In addition to celebrating my cousin's wedding, we are celebrating the nine (9) year anniversary of our very dear friend, Mary, being cancer free! 

On Sunday, October 16, 2011, at Jones Beach State Park we are proud to participate in the 2011 Making Strides Against Breast Cancer, Long Island NY Style. 

Although we are celebrating the fact that Mary has been cancer free for 9 years, we are walking this year for Mary's dear friend, Mary Ann Ferchland Marra, who lost her battle on October 8th 2011. 

Mary states on her 2011 Making Strides of Long Island, NY donation page, "I never met anyone so inspirational and strong. I will miss her more than words can convey. Let's raise money and awareness, so no more families have to go through the pain and suffering that this disease causes. Only through research can this happen, so please donate.Thank you."

I don't know how many people this blog post will actually reach, but I am inspired to try and make it reach enough to accomplish Mary's goal of raising $1,000 for Breast Cancer by this Sunday.  

I just donated $35To reach her goal of $1,000, all I need is 28 of my dedicated loyal readers to donate $35 also!

Let's see what we can do... plus, I will be the one walking in New York. All you have to do is supply some digits from your credit card and press "accept". Thank you much!

UPDATE: 6 more people to reach our goal of $1,000! Thank you to everyone who is donating!

Monday, October 10, 2011

How to Tell Your Colombian Father You Got A Semi-Large Arm Tattoo

I understand that telling your Colombian father you got a semi-large arm tattoo could be slightly intimidating.

However, based on my experience and the fact that I am still alive, I would like to share some secrets as to how to tell your Colombian Father you got a semi-large arm tattoo on your lunch break from work.

First thing is first... Be honest. Nothing is worse than you trying to hide the fact that your upper arm has a little extra color to it. 

Next, figure out a creative "reveal". In order for your father to accept and "like" your new arm art, you must be sensitive to your father's feelings.

Now, you must understand that the initial "reveal" could possibly be a little overwhelming for your father, so it is important you be respectful and acknowledge the fact that you understand his views on arm art.

I would also add in your "reveal" a tearful thank you. Thank your father for providing you with the tools to properly express yourself. Really thank him for allowing you to always be yourself, regardless of how much the Colombian culture dislikes arm art.

Remember, your father is the most understanding, loving, caring, insightful, brilliant, talented, thoughtful man in your life.

And lastly, the perfect, safest place to "reveal" the new addition to your body is most likely on your blog.

I love you dad!
Love your little princess.

P.S. I am just kidding! I would never reveal my semi-large arm tattoo to my father on my public blog.... I have way more class than that.... I did, however, tell him through a Facebook post and tagged him in it!

To Do List- Dylan's Hair Cut

Dear Roommate No. 1

I would like to acknowledge your concerns in regards to Dylan's hair cut issue so that you are aware that I am not completely disregarding your requests. 

Although I appreciate your concerns for my son's well-being and your efforts in housing us and keeping us safe, I would like to explain to you why I have not been able to get Dylan to the hair groomers:

Reason Not To Cut Dylan's Hair No. 1: I would love to drop Dylan off at his hair salon in the morning prior to leaving for work, however, this would cut into my daily sister time talk, which has been taking place for the last 26 years. 

I do not think it would be just if I deprive my sister of this important bonding time.

Reason Not To Cut Dylan's Hair No. 2: I understand your "easy fix" to the above is to wake up earlier, however, Dylan is not a morning dog and we have learned this based on the scar which is located on my upper right leg. 

Reason Not To Cut Dylan's Hair No. 3: Even though Dylan looks as though he is unhappy because he is unable to see further than 2 inches in front of him, he has always exhibited signs of enjoying a challenge. I feel the challenge to see is a good exercise for him.

Reason Not To Cut Dylan's Hair No. 4: Dylan has hinted to me that he has worked hard at growing out his locks of hair and to cut it would make him uncomfortable and insecure. 

Being a little dog, Dylan already struggles with "little dog syndrome". I feel it may be inappropriate to inhance his insecurities by taking away what makes him feel most attractive, his curly, white hair.  

Although all of the above reasons are valid and true, I must agree with you that Dylan does not look particularly happy when his hair is so long that he is unable to properly go to the restroom. 

However, despite his problems, Dylan has amazed me and has once again taught himself a new trick!

"Exhibit A"

For this... I apologize and Dylan shall get a hair cut first thing in the morning.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Fun Fact No. 528

As I go through my law school career, I feel it is important that I pay back my community and share some knowledge that I have learned throughout this journey. My goal is to help at least one person who reads this. 

I would hate for everyone to have to go to law school in order to get what I am about to share with you!   

Fun Fact No. 528: After you leave work and go to the law library so that you may be well prepared for school, be sure NOT to leave your vehicle lights on. 

If your vehicle lights are left on and you are away from your vehicle for more than a couple of hours, your car will not start and you will essentially be stranded. 

Especially do not do said action if your phone is dead and you are in the middle of Downtown in a not so nice neighborhood, which houses nothing but stray cats and an occasional drifter.

Really do not do said action if once you do get your car "jumped" and running after you leave class at 9:30 p.m. you realize that you are almost out of gas and you have no clue where a "safe" gas station is.

I hope this information has helped you as it will hopefully help me in the future.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

My Sister is Going to Be on David Letterman!

Well.... Not exactly.

My family and I are traveling to New York next week for my cousin's wedding. 

Because my sister and her side kick Jon will be arriving before their best friend in the whole world, ME!, my sister decided to make the most out of a horrible situation.

Since one of the million amazing things to do while in New York City is to attend the David Letterman Show, my sister called his "office" to ask for tickets.  I believe she left a message with his assistant. 

Although I did not want to break my sister's spirits that her dream of going to the David Letterman Show may be a tad bit ambitious, I must admit, I did have my doubts.

However, during our 8:00 a.m. ritual of talking on the phone until I arrive at work, David Letterman's Assistant interrupted our conversation with a telephone call!

Although I was slightly annoyed at the interruption, I graciously allowed my sister to answer the call and waited patiently on the other line.

After speaking with Mr. Letterman's Assistant and correctly answering a trivia question, my sister "clicked" back over screaming that her and her girlfriend Jon are going to the Letterman Show on Wednesday, October 12, 2011!

I should warn you that my sister has been known to make it onto TV. Please see "Exhibit A" which illustrates my sister's star performance on the Price is Right back in '98. 

Please note, the Jon that my sister is giving a shout out to in her "Hi Jon" sequence is now her husband and all the 7's that she chooses are because Jon's football jersey was No. 7. 

"Exhibit A"

 Good luck sister! Make us famous! Wear a "" T-Shirt!
(Note- I still call my sister "sister".)

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Oprah Responded!!!!

Oprah responded to me!!!!! 

Although the email I received in my inbox of today's date significantly resembles a "mass email", Oprah answered a few of the questions I posed in my letters to her dated September 11, 2011, September 13, 2011, September 15, 2011, September 18, 2011 and September 27, 2011. 

Oprah's email stated: "We know many of you are anxious to receive a copy of Oprah's Lifeclass Journal. We are too! The journals are en route and you should be receiving yours by the end of October". 

The email also reminded me that Oprah's Lifeclass starts on October 10, 2011 at 8:00 p.m. on Own. 

Little did my dear friend Oprah know, I have a countdown until class starts on every computer I own, an alarm on my phone, a reminder on my ITouch, a sticky note on my car window and a print out of "Things to do Before Oprah's October 10, 2011 Life Class" in my office.

I am well prepared for class. Now I just need my Lifeclass journal. 

And Oprah if you happen to tune into my blog today and because we are now in direct communication, please be advised as follows:

1. I believe you need to reevaluate some of the staff members on your team. I believe you may have a jealous intern who is deleting your fans from your fan page. I understand that it is risky to let people into your circle, so I feel, as your No. 1 fan, it is important to advise you of such questionable activity. 

2. Although the October 1, 2011 deadline has passed, in which you were to respond to my invitation to my Law School Graduation, I am pleased to inform you that I am extending the deadline to an indefinite time, no later than May 2013, so that I may receive a further more detailed response to all of my above stated correspondence. Thank you much. See you in class!

Children's Book Drive

Although I normally only use my money making blog for selfish reasons in order to better my "career" and although I am normally not the fondest of children, today I decided to have a change of heart and help out my community.

In Fact, I feel I have a slight duty to pass the word along about a Children's Book Drive taking place in Morgan Hill, California. 

Before I give you the information to the above stated Children's Book Drive, I would like to take the opportunity to apologize to the parents that own children in which Dylan has already attacked or may attack in the future. 

I promise it is not personal when Dylan attacks your innocent little creation. My little prince attacks me as well.  

Now that we are on the same page and getting a fresh start, for your future reference, when you see this walking by ("Exhibit A") , keep your children's hands, feet, eyes, elbows and fingers at a 10 foot distance:

"Exhibit A"

I also believe it to be important to spread the word of said Children's Book Drive for the following reasons:

1. I think every kid should grow up reading Dr. Sues and not be forced by their older siblings to watch movies such as E.T., The Labyrinth or Bevis & Butthead.

2.  I think every child inherently loves to learn and read. If we encourage their love for reading and keep them interested now, maybe that excitement will continue into graduate school as it did for me. 

3. I think reading builds confidence and  building confidence in little children will help them succeed throughout life. 

So, if you would like to get involved, the Children's Book Drive/Donation will be held at Stratford School which is located at 410 Llagas Road, Morgan Hill, CA on Saturday, October 15, 2011 at 10:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.

The Stratford School Student Council is working with The Children's Book Project to collect books for children in need.

They ask that you look through your old book bins and drop off your "gently used" or "no longer wanted" children's books. 

All of the children's books will be delivered to children charities throughout the Bay Area.

Any book that helps a child to form a habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him. ” ~~ Maya Angelou

P.S. Just to reiterate my point, if someone donated books to me when I was little, maybe I would have learned to spell "Dr Seuss" correctly. (See Misspelling Above)

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

How to Creep Out The Girl You Are With

This commercial gets me every time. I'm not sure if this commercial is promoting jewelery or how to creep out the girl you're with. 

It gets good about the .06 second mark.