Today marks the 234,365,278 day that I have consecutively written you a letter. Although I understand you are busy with your new endeavors, I am getting a little concerned with your lack of response.
I suppose my first 563,789 letters may have been lost in the mail; but the last 233,801,489 that I sent via FedEx First Class, Insured & Return Receipt Requested are making you look a little suspicious.
Any who, I am still waiting for a response to the letter I sent you dated May 10, 2006, in which I asked you your opinion of Dylan's new hair cut.
To refresh your memory, I am enclosing two pictures of Dylan:
The first is a Before Picture, which will give you an idea of what a little risk taker my prince is!
The second is the end result! He is such a trend setter.
You also have not gotten back to me in regards to attending my Law School Graduation in May 2013 and giving a well-prepared speech. I have already filed a petition with my school for an extra ticket for you to sit next to my dad, step-mom, sister, brother-in-law and mom. If you hurry and get back to me, I might be able to put in a request for an additional ticket for Stedman if you were thinking about bringing him.
I understand that you spoke at your god-daughter's college graduation a few years back. I do not think it would be fair if I wasn't given the same opportunity just because I am not your God-Child, related to you or your secret sister.
I am, however, your No. 1 fan, so attending my graduation would seem to be fitting.