Secret Sister

Dear Oprah, 

I hope this letter finds you well. 

Although we have been unable to catch up lately (my law school schedule has been crazy intense- sorry), I wanted to check in and see how things were going between you and your secret sister.

Last year, when you announced to the world that you had discovered a secret sister, I was bombarded with so many different emotions on your behalf. I has excited, scared, surprised, astonished, humbled and curious. 

As you know, I have a sister too!!! I feel so blessed that my sister and I have the best relationship! I wouldn't give it up for the world!!!

My sister and I have created so many memories in the last 20-something years. It makes me sad to think that you and your secret sister missed out on those crucial bonding years.

However, I do believe it is never too late to make some memories with your secret sister to make up for lost time. 

Since I am the "little sister" and understand the needs of your little secret sister, I have compiled some definite "sister do's" and some definite "sister don'ts" below to help you and your secret sister get up to speed with the rest of us! 

The following are some definite do's that you should do with your secret sister:

* Have fun sister sleepovers!

* Allow her to borrow your clothes!

* Watch all of the classic Disney movies, then decide what your favorite is. Next you can force your secret sister to memorize your favorite one and then force her to perform a dance for Gayle and your mom.

* Definitely watch some classic sister movies together. Here are a few to give you an idea, Labyrinth staring David Bowie, The Babysitters Club, Edward Scissorhands, Clueless, etc. 

* Always laugh when she tells you a joke, even when no one else thinks it is funny. She will appreciate this.

* Occasionally allow her tag along with you and Gayle. You can always bring her to a charity event and put her to work. 

* Most importantly, love her unconditionally and always be her Number 1 Fan.  

The following are some definite don'ts that you should avoid while bonding with your sister:

* Do not watch E.T. with your secret sister and then have Gayle crawl on her knees in the dark dressed up in an over sized brown jacket holding a flashlight in the armhole and screaming "E.T. PHONE HOME". 

* Do not trap your sister in the game room because you are not ready to go to bed. Throwing sharp objects at her head is not healthy for your relationship. 

* Do not make your sister watch the movie Chucky and then at around 3 a.m. throw a live Chucky Doll in her room and lock the door when she is trying to get out. 

* Do not hit your sister in the head with a large brush because the brush got stuck in her hair while you were trying to play beauty school. 

* Do not sneak into your sisters room in the middle of the night with fireworks and then as you set the fireworks off shine a light in her face and tell her to FREEZE.  

* Do not scream at your sister. It is scary if you start foaming at the mouth. 

* Do not run over your sisters cat while backing out of your driveway and then tell her he ran away. She will most likely find him in the trash can.

* Most importantly, although it is a sweet gesture, do not beat anyone up for speaking poorly of your sister. Even though you are a girl, it is against the law to commit a battery on a boy.

I hope you find this letter helpful. It is my hope for you and your secret sister to develop the amazing, indescribable relationship I have been lucky enough to form with sister.

Much Love.