Dear Dylan,
As much as mommy loves you, I swear on your dead mother's doggie grave, that if you continue to hide under the bed and growl at me, while biting at my hand, I am going to loose it.
Mommy has a job that she needs to get to promptly at 9:00 a.m. Your "cute" little hide-and-go-seek game that you play with me in the morning is not very "cute" anymore.
Although I have noticed that you love listening to Drake with me while I get ready for work, why is it that as soon as I turn the music off (which is when I am finished getting ready) you choose to retreat to your little bridge called "my bed"?
You then proceed to transition from my little prince into a little 10 pound gremlin.
Your unruly behavior not only makes me late for work, but forces me get down on all fours and signal you to come out from under your bridge, all while making sure to use my nice, calm voice when addressing you.
When I am really desperate, I result to rewarding your bad gremlin behavior by trying to give you some of your favorite food, i.e. peperoni, cheese, etc.
I'll let you in on a little secret; I am neither nice nor calm at this particular moment. Every morning when you retreat, I envision ringing your 2 inch little gremlin neck. Keep it up son... keep it up.
Why don't you try out smarting your little gremlin and grab him and throw him into the dungeon why he is still happily head bobbing to Drake? Duh
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You would think that would work wouldn't you!? I tried that one day and it was successful. Now the little devil hides the minute I start playing any music. Even though I want to kill him sometimes... he is very smart!
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